I spent some time talking with Georgia and her daughter Alexandra in their kitchen nook in Olympia, WA.
"When I was younger and traveled around a lot things were very impermanent, I was always trying to figure out when to let things go, and when to hold on to them. I always felt that I could intuit, now this story is over... Now I can let it go. But now I don't try and control things like that anymore.
I think being that way is too controlling. Maybe I am not the one who knows when to let go and when to hold on. I think intuition is a tricky thing, I think if you are really able to tap into your wisdom, then intuition can be a beam of truth, but it's challenging to distinguish... Is this an intuition from wisdom or is it a feeling that is coming from sentiment. So I think just as often it was just me trying to control a situation, or out of fear, or out of a selfish 'Oh I'm done here!' There were experiences that I had where I felt I had hurt people that I really cared about, and made me really question whether I really knew as much as I thought I did.
Alexandra changed me a lot. In that, you’re not done with a child, kind of. At the time, I had started this practice and got married which I never thought I would do. And had a child. And had a job, you know, all these things I never thought I would do. And at first it was a great big adventure, in its own right. And then it was hard. Especially because it was a way I had not necessarily been, or wasn't naturally like. I think that is just a quality of getting older, if you want those things, you have to start to slow down. Having her, it is such a special relationship, a mother and a child, my sense of self is a very different experience... Because you're constantly focused on the other. Being married definitely helped me do that in a way, but with another adult you can always externalize, you can always put things on the other person, blame them for your problems. You can do it if you want! But it's not going to go that well for you.. but you can. But with a child, its a lot trickier. With her I was like, oh man, I am responsible for this being, and she has done nothing to me. She just needs me.” - Georgia H.
Alexandra told me about a dream she had when she was 5 and living in the yellow house back in New York. She had lived there for most of her life until moving to Olympia, WA.
"When I was young, I used to sometimes come into my moms room and she had this dresser in the corner of the room, and my dad... He had this job where he would wake up at like 3 or 4 in the morning and go to work... And that night, I was sleeping in my moms bed, and I am not really sure if I was awake or not... And a lion came out from the back of the dresser and started roaring at me. And my mom and dad woke up and said 'stand back'. So I stayed back. And then the lion walked out of the room, and my dad walked out of the room. I never saw the lion or my dad for the rest of the night." - Alexandra
And on getting older.
"I am technically ten. But they only call you ten, once your tenth year is over. Once you get older, you don't want to become older. But when you are so young, you are eager to become a grown up. It just seems like you have so much choice, and you can do a lot of things when you are older. Like start a family, and kind of decide what you want to do with your life, when you are 18 and a grown up person. But at the same time its hard, because you have to make your own money, you have to find your own job."- Alexandra